Don't Say It
by snowflake98
Summary: It took him a while to realize it, but Sasori had stopped letting him say it. SasoDei


That tone of voice…

It was reserved for the most intense kind of situations.

It was the life-or-death commanding tone that Deidara wouldn't dare disobey; his own body would react before his mind had a chance to process the words itself. It was dominating, controlling, authoritative, insanely influential, and completely a private thing.

So of course Deidara stopped everything he was doing when Sasori used it in public like that.

His mouth shut mid-sentence. He tightened his grip on the groceries he had just been about to put in the cart and stood with his feet together, his arms at his sides minus the bag of apples he was clutching.

Sasori looked him up and down. "What?" he asked, and then took the bag from Deidara's death grip, placing it gently in the cart. "What's wrong?"

"You- you told me- what- what did you say, un?" the blonde asked, bewildered and falling only slightly out of his pose. Sasori gained an amused glint in his eyes, then turned back to pushing the cart. Deidara fell out of stance and followed him. "I said, don't say it," the redhead grumbled, stopping to pull a few things off the shelf.

"Don't say what, un?"

"What you were about to say."

Deidara hummed in thought. "What was I- hey, un, raspberries are in season! Let's get some!" He pointed and ran in that direction excitedly.

Sasori nodded, following after the blonde. Damn, he was sidetracked easily.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Deidara." Sasori tossed the small box onto the big pile in the blonde's arms. It went toward the second biggest box, which, upon closer examination, Deidara could not expect good things from. The 'From' name was Hidan. He jumped forward to catch the thrown package on the edge of it, then leaned back to let it slide to his chest.

"From Sasori," he read. "With all my love, un, that's sweet! Danna, I-"

The redhead stood up. "Five minutes," he whispered, walking by the blonde. "Can't you wait five minutes? They'll be gone then!" The others didn't hear, or more likely didn't want to hear. No one could tell the type of things Sasori might whisper in the blonde's ear on his birthday.

Deidara gave a swift, blushing nod, and Sasori passed by with a smirk as if he'd said something naughty. A few of the people gathered in the living room laughed, and Hidan whistled.

"Hush, Hidan, un," Deidara grumbled. "Your gift is the first to go!" He set all the gifts down on the coffee table, then pulled Hidan's over and began to pull at the wrapping.

"Let's see what the damage is this year, un…"

* * *

Five minutes, right?

Well, un, that had been ten minutes ago!

"Thanks for your presents, guys, un; I really appreciate it!" Deidara waved out the door as his friends filed out to their cars.

"Happy god damn birthday."

Deidara's face coloured, and he turned. "Thanks, Hidan… for the clay. It must've been super expensive, a brand like that…"

"Fuck it was! Happy birthday, Blondie," Hidan said flippantly, walking away.

"Thanks, un," Deidara said, blushing a bright red. He waved to the albino, then turned away from the doorway, as Hidan was the last visitor.

Damn, that had been an awkward few moments after he opened Hidan's gift. If Sasori hadn't stepped in and announced champagne, well, bad things might have happened. Deidara might have made a total jerk of himself.

He shut the door, putting his back to it and sliding down against it. "Thanks, Danna, un. You saved me there!" He mustered a smile, even though Sasori was smoking on the couch by his ashtray and couldn't see it. "And thanks for the necklace!"

He had given Deidara a silver chain with a scorpion on it. "You're welcome," he said back.

Deidara smiled, then got up from his position on the floor. He began to pick up the remains of the wrapping paper. Wait, he was forgetting something…

"Hey, Danna, un. Wasn't there something you wanted me to do 'in five minutes?' I feel like I'm supposed to remember something…"

Sasori hummed. "It was nothing, Dei, forget it," he said. Deidara nodded. He hoped so… something seemed wrong. "So, it's your birthday. You wanna go for a walk?" Sasori asked. He snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table, then stood up. Deidara looked up and him and smiled softly.

"Yeah, un."

* * *

Deidara shivered at the chill in the air, smiling when a few stray leaves landed close to his head. The park was nice this time of year, and the afternoon sun made the sky a brilliant gold colour.

"Didn't the forecast say rain this morning?"

Deidara turned, his awe broken by the words. "Yeah, un."

Sasori tsked. "Idiots."

"Yeah. How could it be rain when the sky is so beautiful, un?"

Laughing, Sasori stopped at the corner of the trail and looked at the sky. He pointed out the dim gray line that was spreading from the opposite direction as the sun. "No," he said, "I meant there's about no way it will rain today. Unless the wind is crazy, the storm's not gonna get here till the morning." He finished his sentence smirking as Deidara caught up to him and blushed.

He started walking again. "Is there anything else you wanted to do on your birthday?"

"Eat raspberries, un!"

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

"…You can't get drunk off of champagne… can you?"

"Yes, brat. It's alcohol."

"Oh, well, maybe, un." His eyes shifted to Sasori as a familiar song began to play. The redhead blinked, then began to search his pockets. Finally he pulled out his phone.

"Sorry, gotta take this." Sasori made an apologetic gesture to the blonde, but didn't step away as he turned his attention to the phone. Deidara sighed and looked up through the cracks between the trees. They were planted on each side of the trail- a cliché, maybe, but a beautiful one.

Especially with the yellow tint the leaves had now. Yellow was always a wonderful colour… not his favourite, though, red was, if he would have to choose. Yellow… to think about it, yellow was Sasori's favourite. Well, not yellow… but 'blonde.'

A gust of wind went through his hair and he shivered, putting his hands in his pockets. Yep, blonde was Sasori's favourite.

"It's Deidara's birthday- no, no plans, but it wouldn't be right- I- Mr. - fine. God damn you, and tell him I'll be there." The phone flipped shut with an angry sound, protesting to the frustrated person handling it. Deidara looked up, hopeful. Sasori had said that and blown them off before. But then, what was the frustration for?

Sasori shook his head.

The blonde automatically comforted him. He would be the one more upset for it, after all. "It's okay, Danna. You should go, un. Bring in the money, you know?"

"You don't even know what they wanted, Dei. Don't talk before you know, it pulls all the meaning out of what you say- not that there was any," Sasori snapped, his expression flickering to rage. Deidara hid his reaction even with Sasori looking away from him. It was only the emotion talking; Sasori would apologize later, or realize that Deidara knew he hadn't meant it. The blonde nodded solemnly.

"What did they want then, un?" he asked softly. The wind had picked up, and his words were almost lost from the way they had been spoken.

"They want me to come meet some fancy-ass big shot art critic. The bastard's only going to be here for tonight. His flight just came in, and he's going to meet me at the office building… I might be gone until midnight. It's your birthday… but I have to go. You understand how much publicity we'd get if we met? We could…" Sasori trailed off, shaking his head at how selfish he had sounded.

Deidara smiled. "You should go then, Danna!" he chirped. It felt fake. It was fake. He wanted Sasori to refuse. He wanted Sasori to stubbornly refuse, and tell him that nothing Deidara said would make him go. Like he had done before.

"I'll make it up to you, I swear. Look. When you get up tomorrow, I'll make you anything you want for breakfast, and we'll go out to dinner. I'll buy you whatever… whatever… anything you want. I'll make it up to you, but you have to let me go."

"I just said you should, un. I want you to go, too, if it's good for you."

"Thank you, Dei." He made as if to take Deidara's hand, but then stopped mid-action. "Look, I don't have enough time to get home and take the car. I'm just going to walk."

His voice softened considerably. "Get home quickly, okay? I think I was wrong. It might rain today." The wind blew by again, sending a howling sound by Deidara's ears.

He nodded. "Alright, un," he said, and Sasori began to walk away. He waved sadly and Sasori waved back.

Just as he was disappearing, Deidara's eyes widened suddenly. "Danna, I-!" he called, but Sasori cut him off.

"Don't say it!" he ordered sharply, and then turned back and began to run.

The blonde's hands tightened into fists and he stood shocked.

The other day, in the store, hadn't he been about to say the same thing? And earlier, when he had been given his present, isn't that what he would have said to thank Sasori? And just now, Sasori had known, had heard what he was going to say, and stopped it.

Sasori didn't want to hear him say it.

Deidara couldn't have said how long he stood there. All he knew was that the sky had grayed over and people were staring at him.

And that the rain was beginning to fall, steady, even drops, and that the wind was speaking in whistles.

He pulled his jacket tighter around him, then began to run. Run in the direction Sasori had gone.

* * *

Deidara stopped outside the office building. It was a few stories. Inside were the cubicles and office supplies typical to a building like that, but Sasori was barely ever inside. He painted for a living, only stepping foot inside to drop off artwork, talk to his boss, or for things like this.

Deidara brushed his soaking hair behind him, reminding him that it was, in fact, soaking.

The rain had only intensified, and Deidara was not going home. Not until he saw Sasori again.

Silently, he collected himself and sat down on the steps. The rain, in all its spite, poured harder.

* * *

Sasori glanced out the window amid the chatter of the other people in the room.

Okay, so he had been wrong. Dead wrong. It was only about ten and rain was draining out of the sky like it had to stop a fire.

He sipped water out of the cup he'd been given. He would have to bring something home for Deidara. Not a lot would make up for this, in his eyes. Deidara was probably over it already.

His hand tightened, but he stopped short of crushing the cup.

"Akasuna ? You okay?"

Sasori turned. "Yeah, I'm fine, just thinking about something."

"You gonna need a ride home? You walked, right?"

Sasori looked at the man. He had short blonde hair and tattoos across his cheeks. He was only a little bit taller than Sasori. Deidara was much taller… damn, the kid reminded him of Deidara.

"Yeah," he said, looking at the kid. Who would know that he was an accomplished artist as well? "Thanks."

* * *

Sasori wrapped his scarf around his neck. Just the breeze the closing door had let in was cold. It should not be like this in autumn, he thought. Rain wasn't supposed to fall in autumn. Summer, maybe. Spring, yes. But in his mind, rain was not characteristic of fall.

He pulled on his jacket. The others had listened to the forecast and brought umbrellas. Damn, he was stupid not to. "Where's your car parked?" he asked the Kid.

"In the lot in back," he mumbled back, and Sasori looked up. Kid was staring out the door. Sasori followed his line of sight…

The man who had just left came back in, clutching his umbrella.

"Akasuna, there's a kid out here waiting for you. You might want to-"

The man laughed, seeing Sasori's confused face. "He might have been out here a while," he said, and then walked off. Sasori ran out the door. It shut behind him, and a pair of wet arms circled his waist from the side.

"Deidara? What the hell?" he asked.

Deidara snuggled his head into Sasori's side.

"Hi, Danna. I'm tired. We should go home now, un."

"Deidara, what the fuck."

The blonde yawned. "Home now. I'm sleeeepy, un."

Sasori put his hands on Deidara's head. "How long have you been out here?"

"Come on, let's go eat raspberries. Please, un."

"Are you drunk, brat? Tell me how long you've been out here."

"I didn't drink that much champagne, Sasori. You know that-"

His name. "Tell me how god damn long!" He pushed Deidara's head back to face his. Long tear streaks were under each eye- or was that the rain?- and his resolve crumpled for a second. "Tell me. How long?"

Deidara flicked his eyes shut.

"I don't know, Sasori. I couldn't tell you, un." He let go of Sasori's waist, going up on his knees on the step. He put a hand on top of Sasori's, the one touching his cheek, and leaned into it. "I couldn't honestly say."

"Deidara, what is-" Sasori started, but then the door opened and he swallowed it down.

"You okay, Akasuna? The others heard you yelling. You-" Kid stopped his sentence. He opened the umbrella, placing it over the redhead. "You're getting wet, Akasuna."

Deidara's eyes widened in remembrance.

Sasori nodded. Yes, he was. "I've got it. I'm fine. I'll be there in a _second,_" he said, sounding as if his sentence should be followed by a _so leave. _Obviously, the Kid heard it.

"Alright, then," he said, and jumped off the steps. "I'm starting the car."

Sasori hissed in pain. Deidara's fingernails dug into his skin. "Who's that, un?"

"A kid. My coworker," he said angrily.

"He's blonde."

"He is-"

"Blonde is your favourite colour!" Deidara exploded.

"What the hell are you on?"

Deidara stood, pulling away from Sasori's touch. "Don't dismiss me like that, Sasori. He's-"

Sasori stepped back slightly, to make eye contact with Deidara without tilting his head back too far. Damn, he hated being short. But he hated it even worse when Deidara called him by name. "Dammit, just tell me what's wrong!" he snapped.

"Why won't you let me say it?" he yelled. Sasori grabbed his wrists on instinct.

Fresh tears began to slide down Deidara's cheeks. "You don't want me to say it," he whispered. He yanked his wrists out of Sasori's grip, then turned. He wiped his eyes and began to walk across the street.

"You're not going to walk home in this rain, brat," Sasori chastised.

"Who the hell said I was going home, un?"

Through the rain, the sound of a car was heard.

"I did. You're not sleeping on the street."

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Brat." That tone. Again. Commanding him. Deidara stopped walking. "Do you want to know why I won't let you say it?"

The blonde stepped up onto the curb at the other side of the street. "No. I won't hear it, un."

"You're being stupid. Come here. The kid's got the car waiting for us." He paused, his voice soft again. "Come over here, brat."

Deidara exhaled. "No, un," he whispered, but his legs wouldn't listen to him, and they carried him back across the street.

"Come up the steps," Sasori prompted. Deidara went up two. He closed his eyes.

Sasori leaned forward and kissed him. "I," he whispered, "am the only one who's allowed to hear you say that." Deidara opened his eyes, smiling sadly. Sasori took his hand. "Now, don't you feel like an ass?"

"Yeah, un," Deidara said back.

"Now, let's go home. It's still your birthday."

"So, un?" He let himself be led down the steps, suddenly reminded of his soaking wet clothes. And hair. And everything.

"Well, we're going to have to wash off, aren't we?" Sasori squeezed his hand, shivering from the cold. "And I wouldn't mind adding a part 2 to your gift."

* * *

**Okay, so this is nothing like the word-count-700-somethings I usually put up. I like it, because it's longer than my usual ones, and hate it, because it just screams Junjou Romantica. ****I'm not very original! :D**

**Lol, well R&R. (What does the first R even stand for? The second one is review, I know that, but what's the first? Rate? You can't rate a story, can you? And if it's 'read,' it's kinda late to be putting it at the end, dontcha think? lol.) (But you should R&R anyway.)**


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